I think I loved my mum so much because she was a school teacher and grandmother and she looked after me expertly when I had lost my way and made me see the error of my ways so I wouldn’t keep making the same mistakes. Forgive me mum. Sorry, mum. When I think of my mistakes, I burn up like my little coffee pot that would fall over on the gas stove and almost catch on fire and burn the house down. Mum would be happy as I bought a big one that’s sturdy and will never fall over no matter how hot it gets. She went without her whole adult life to get me this gorgeous apartment. No wonder she was cross with me and scolded me relentlessly when I wasted money or when I would lie to her.
But it’s only now about two and a half years after her passing that the most important lessons have sunk in particularly around my diet and not drinking and being a good person. But I haven’t had a drink for years and years and have become a heath expert. But I have to reiterate I haven’t had alcohol, for years. I think for most people a glass of wine or the occasional beer is ok but it’s just not for me.
My fondest memories were visiting her in the nursing home, being her primary carer for several years when she got very frail and talking to her on the phone every day over the last year or so after my meditative beach walk.
Since her passing I’ve still got lots of support but I’ve had to become my own mum so I won’t lose my way without her sage support.
I feel a bit sad now realising how much she suffered in the last years with falls, a hip replacement and lots of aches and pains amongst many other health issues. But I guess we all get frail one day.
My favourite stories were about her trip to Europe when she was young with another school teacher friend and I think it was for two years. I think because of that she always encouraged me as an adult to travel internationally as much as possible and I did make a trip a year for a month for over a decade.
Anyway, when I miss her, I think of the good funny times and sit on the rug she had on her when she passed with lots of cats on it and that’s exactly how she was as a grandmother and all of us kids and grandkids were her loved cats.
