The Grieving Process/ Mum Passed Two and a Half Months Ago

Essay by Luke Foster

“One day we will remember how lucky we were to have known their love, with wonder, not grief.”

Elizabeth Postle

Since mums passing, I have thrown myself into my art and writing to cope with the great loss as I feel I have never known such powerful and pure love since my mother and shall never experience it again.

However, over the past week my mind and heartstrings have come unravelling and I have felt deep loss and grief.

 “This one life has no form and is empty by nature. If you become attached by any form, you should reject it. If you see an ego, a soul, a birth, or a death, reject them all.” Buddha

I have found myself pondering over my fondest memories with mum.

I remember how proud she was when she came to my graduation ceremonies after I graduated from my university courses.

I remember her taking me to church and nippers every weekend as a child. Nippers is kids surf lifesaving training.

She paid for me to do drawing classes at the art school I later went to when I was 16 over the school holidays.

I remember when I was bullied at school, she contacted the principal to try and stop it.

However, the fondest memories were in the last year when she was in a nursing home in Sydney, and I visited 7 or 8 times. We would sit and talk for hours and reminisce and laugh about our life together.

Soon my book shall be coming out and its named Mother’s Love after my mum.

I also remember how traumatised my mum was when her own mother passed in Orange.

“We cannot hope to die peacefully if our lives have been full of violence, or if our minds have mostly been agitated by emotions like anger, attachment, or fear. So, if we wish to die well, we must learn how to live well: Hoping for a peaceful death, we must cultivate peace in our mind, and in our way of life.”

Dalai Lama

I think mum had a very peaceful death as she had so much peace of mind and kindness towards everyone and died peacefully in her sleep.

The book about to be released inspired by my mum.

My amazing mum last year